Changing attitudes and empowering women in Sierra Leone
By Vandy Semabu Kamara
Aminata Kamara and Mama Kaday. (© 2006 CARE)
Crying with joy, Aminata's mother, Mama Kaday, searched the crowd for her husband, Pa Kamara. He was on the other side of the gathering. At first he had refused to attend the meeting, because he had not wanted to send Aminata to school. Now, he stood with his head bowed, and tears of joy as well as shame rolled down his cheeks.
Aminata rushed to her mother with open hands, shouting "Nna, Nna," which means "mother" in Koranko, her native tongue. They embraced each other and swayed from side to side. Aminata was determined to complete her education before marriage, a determination that once had meant an open declaration of war between Aminata and her parents. Her farther had wanted her married to one of the most influential and successful young men in the village, a man who could boast of cattle, children and wives. Now, Aminata and her mother proudly walked home, hand in hand, to their compound - two grass-roofed houses for the family, a sheep and two chickens.
That evening, as they sat together around their hearth for a dinner of cooked rice and cassava leaves, Mama Kaday looked straight into the eyes of her husband and slowly, politely and confidently declared to him, "You are not always right in making decisions about our welfare in this family, and I think I should be involved in some of the critical decision making." Pa Kamara slowly lifted his head, finished the food in his mouth and, with a surprising look in his eyes, nodded his head.
During Sierra Leone's brutal civil war, which lasted for the better part of a decade, Aminata and her parents had moved from their home in Yiffin village, in Koinadugu District, to a relatively safe camp for internally displaced persons in Masingbi. During their stay, Mama Kaday watched the female nurses at the health post with great interest. They were friendly and caring, confident and capable, and she dreamt of 6-year-old Aminata someday becoming one. Mama Kaday talked to the camp's chief nursing officer about her profession, and was moved by how the woman had grown up poor but had managed to succeed, because her parents had supported her education. Mama Kaday was very quiet that night as she imagined a very bright future for her daughter.
When the war ended in 2001, Aminata and her parents returned to Yiffin, which lay in ruin. A few months later, a school was established. Pa Kamara threatened to send Mama Kaday back to her parents if she dared to discuss the idea of Aminata attending school. So Mama Kaday talked to Pa Sheku, one of her husband's friends. As the two men sat alone drinking palm wine that evening, Pa Sheku convinced his friend to send Aminata to school. Pa Kamara agreed, but on one condition: that he could remove her from school for the cultural initiation into womanhood and, later, for marriage to Mr. Jalloh, his best friend, who already had three wives. Mama Kaday reluctantly agreed, and Aminata was enrolled in school.
Since the day Aminata was born, Pa Kamara had promised her hand in marriage to Mr. Jalloh, and because of this, he had received precious gifts as Aminata grew up. During a bad harvest, for example, Mr. Jalloh had saved his friend and his family with a big bag of rice and two chickens. Pa Kamara had expressed his gratitude to Mr. Jalloh and, in the presence of his wife, reaffirmed his commitment to give his rich friend his only daughter. Pa Kamara had openly said that "schools are training grounds for prostitutes" and that he would "not bring up his only child as a prostitute."
In September 2004, CARE started working in Yiffin, and community groups were formed to discuss various development issues. Mama Kaday joined the child-welfare committee and managed to get her husband to come as well. One day, it was announced that they would discuss girls' education, and Mama Kaday jerked her head in total disbelief. On the evening of the discussion, Mama Kaday talked to herself on her way to the village stream. "Oh CARE," she said, "God has sent you to help me realize my dream of educating our only daughter."
As Aminata matured, so did Mr. Jalloh's desire to have her as his wife. He started paying regular visits to Pa Kamara as a way of cementing their relationship, offering even more gifts to his future father-in-law. Mama Kaday, on the other hand, explained to Mr. Jalloh about the benefits of education for girls, pointing to the example of a female CARE field officer admired for her motorbike-riding skills. In one of their secret meetings, Aminata and her mother decided to work hard to win the father over. Aminata would work very hard in school, pass all her exams, and eventually win the hearts of the school and local authorities.
The battle over Aminata's schooling took a critical turn on the night the child-welfare committee began to discuss the benefits of girls' education. Pa Kamara kept very quiet during the discussion. He felt guilty when he heard about how denying one's daughter an education was selfish, and that it contributed to a family's long-term poverty. Pa Kamara reflected on his attitude toward Aminata's education. And he grudgingly admired the female CARE staff member as she confidently addressed elderly men and women. "It is only education that can empower a small girl like her," he thought, "to address a group of elderly men and title holders in our community."
During the session, a picture of President Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf of Liberia was passed around. It was very hard for participants to believe that a woman could be president! When the picture got to Pa Kamara, he carefully examined it, asking CARE staff if it was real. Tears slowly started running down his cheeks. Pa Kamara was known to be a very strong and strict man, and openly weeping in the presence of other community members, including his wife, was a shock to everyone. He slowly got to his feet, went straight to the CARE staff member, took her hands in his, and whispered, "We men make stupid and unreasonable decisions at times." Then he left.
Mama Kaday got up and asked permission to say a few words about her struggle with Pa Kamara over Aminata's education. "In our fight to educate our girl children," she said, "we should be solid in our actions, confident and diplomatic. We should, however, in the process duly respect our husbands. We will eventually succeed if we, the women, know that we are powerful, and thank God our most reliable partner, CARE, is here to help us realize the power in us and the power in other people."
That evening, Pa Kamara apologized to his wife, and promised to join her in providing an education for Aminata. They visited Mr. Jalloh and convinced him to drop his marriage plans and wait until Aminata was old enough to decide for herself who to marry. Mr. Jalloh was shocked, but after a few days he promised to accept their wishes. Aminata was very happy when her parents told her what had happened. She jumped up and hugged her mother around the neck. "Nna, Nna," she said, weeping, "I will always trust you."
Today, Mama Kaday heads up a new community-based taskforce that advocates for girls' education throughout the area. "Women can do the unimaginable," she says, "if we have the determination and courage to fight against the odds and believe in ourselves." After graduating from Yiffin Primary School, Aminata now attends Loma Secondary School in Kabala and was recently awarded a scholarship from the U.S. ambassador for her outstanding academic performance. Aminata gives the credit for her success to her mother, whom she described as an inspiration to all uneducated women.
