CARE staff in Gaza: hunger, grief, and relentless danger

Shared struggles

CARE’s staff and local partners are not immune to these stressors. Many are displaced and rationing or going without food. They face the same hunger, exhaustion, and danger as the communities they serve.

“Everyone, with no exception, has been forced to ration their remaining food stocks,” Veldwijk says. “They are surviving on as little as a loaf of bread and a small meal of beans.”

Yet it is frustration, more than fear, that dominates the voices of humanitarian workers in Gaza, because lifesaving aid is so close, yet still out of reach for those who need it most.

According to the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA), about 90 trucks made it into Gaza on May 21.

But entry does not equal delivery.

“The aid people need sits just a few kilometers away,” Veldwijk told us this week. “And we still can’t get it to them.”

Insecurity, looting, and broken coordination make distribution nearly impossible. Designated routes are often unsafe or blocked. Convoys can be delayed for days. Some never move at all.

Even in future planning, no allowances have been made for households with disabled or elderly members. Rather, people will be required to walk long distances to designated pickup and distribution sites to receive long-needed supplies. Then, they’ll need to haul the parcels (weighing up to 25kg, or just over 55 pounds) kilometers back to their settlements.

Every delivery is a risk

Still, as supplies dwindle and risks mount, CARE teams continue their lifesaving work.

In Deir Al-Balah, CARE’s primary health clinic remains open. It’s one of the few still operating. Each day, the clinic treats hundreds of patients, offering wound care, maternal health services, and basic treatment for infections and chronic illnesses. But medical supplies are running out, and the team is being forced to make impossible choices about what care they can continue to provide.

“We will not close the doors of our healthcare center,” said Veldwijk. “But our range of services is increasingly limited.”

Beyond the clinic, CARE is trucking clean water to displaced families in shelters, doing everything possible to prevent dehydration and waterborne illness. Staff are also supporting the distribution of hygiene kits and other essentials when security and supply lines allow.

Every delivery is a risk. Every shift is a test of endurance. CARE staff — many of whom are displaced themselves — work despite the hunger, exhaustion, and grief they share with the communities around them.

“Humanitarian workers in Gaza are facing the same fate as the starved and bombed communities they continue to serve despite all odds. No one is safe and the threat of death is palpable everywhere,” Veldwijk said.

Amid all this, CARE staff remain committed. They are coordinating daily with humanitarian partners, seeking safe routes, pushing for access, and preparing for the reality that even fewer resources may be available in the days to come.

Living and working through grief

In Gaza, there is no line between humanitarian workers and civilians. CARE’s staff are aid workers, but they are also parents, siblings, and neighbors. They’ve been displaced again and again — some more than ten times.

Today, CARE staff are living in tents or overcrowded schools without reliable access to clean water, sanitation, or electricity. They line up for food like everyone else. They ration supplies for their families while trying to secure assistance for others. And they do it all while grieving.

“For more than a year and a half, we have witnessed the spread of starvation across Gaza,” said Veldwijk. “The trauma of watching family members and friends get thinner and weaker is haunting.”

During the week of May 12, two staff members at CARE’s partner Juzoor were killed in airstrikes on Jabalia camp in North Gaza. Ahmed Khilla, a driver, was killed along with his wife and children. Yahya Shihab, a nurse, and his family were killed the following day. Both men had worked on the frontlines of the humanitarian response, continuing to serve their communities despite the escalating risks.

They are not alone. At least 430 aid workers have been killed in Gaza since October 7, 2023.

The emotional toll is immense. CARE staff speak of burnout, moral injury, and survivor’s guilt. They are heartbroken by the people they cannot save. They fear for their children. And still, they show up. They have to. There no one else.